The Society for the Investigation of Spectral Phenomena
Mr. Prout's Report on the Camden Cellar Hare
Dublin Castle, old inn, Camden, London
I.Background & History
The Dublin Castle is a public house and live music venue in Camden Town, London, standing in the district's old streets north of the city. It rose to prominence in the late 1970s, when the band Madness established a live reputation there, and in later years it was an important early venue for several bands and contributed to the Britpop genre.
The Society's remit extends to what lies beneath such premises. The records supplied to us say nothing of the building's earlier centuries, and we therefore note only that Camden was open country and scattered farmsteads before the speculative builders came, and that the pub has been much altered to serve its trade.
Source: Dublin Castle, Camden, Wikipedia
II.The Entity
The Cellar Coney
A hare of great size, grey as old plaster and dry as a pressed flower, that sits upright in the dark with its forelegs hanging like a man's hands. Its eyes are set a little too far forward, and are bright with a patient comprehension. It does not run as hares run, but walks, deliberately, upon its hind legs when it believes itself unobserved.
Assessment of Peril
Class III: Hostile
It has harmed no one by its own act, but those who watch it are found afterwards altered, and two of the Society's informants did not leave the premises. It attends most closely to anyone who counts the hours it keeps.
III.The Account
The following is drawn from a memorandum in the hand of Mr. Josiah Prout, master builder, who in the winter of 1934 was engaged to shore up the cellar floor of the Dublin Castle after a settlement of the back bar. We reproduce it as received, and it is the Society's belief that he was a sober and literal man.
'On the second day of lifting the flags we found beneath the third course a hollow, lined with lime, and in it the bones of a hare, laid out upon its back with the forelegs folded, as one lays out a Christian. Beside it lay a small stone, scratched with a date, 1588, and a cross cut so often that the stone had worn through. My foreman said it was a farmer's superstition from the fields that stood here before the houses. I thought no more of it, and the bones went into a sack, which I regret.'
'That night the watchman, Hobday, reported that the cellar was occupied. He had seen a grey creature sitting by the barrels, and took it for a large hare got in from the yard. He said it was a very quiet hare. When he lifted his lantern it rose on its hind legs, and he said it looked at the lantern, and then at him, and then, he swore, at the door behind him, as if to see whether he had come alone. He left his post and would not return.'
'By the end of the week every man of my gang had seen it. It was never where we had left it. It sat at the foot of the cellar steps, and each morning it had come one step higher. Dunning, the youngest, began to walk as it walked, with that slow, weighing step, and to hold his hands against his chest. His mother came for him on the Saturday and he did not know her, but he turned his head sharply at the sound of a sack being dragged. I should add that the sack of bones was found on the Monday emptied, and the bones were not in the cellar.'
IV.Recorded Manifestations
- ✦A grey shape seated among the barrels, never in the place it occupied the night before.
- ✦The sound of a sack being dragged slowly across the cellar floor.
- ✦Ascent of one step each night, so that the creature is found nearer the bar.
- ✦Dry tufts of grey fur discovered upon the lowest stair, warm to the touch.
- ✦Persons who watch it begin to walk with a weighing step and to hold their hands against the chest.
Testimony of Witnesses
“It was a quiet hare, sir, and it knew me. It looked at my lantern, then at me, and then behind me, as if to learn whether I was alone.”
“I came down for a bottle and it was sitting on the third step, and it moved aside to let me by, civil as you like. I went up again without the bottle.”
“I attended a cellarman who walked upright with his hands folded upon his breast and would not look me in the eye. I am a sceptic and I put it down to nerves, until I turned and found the cellar door open and a grey shape upon the stair.”
V.Rite of Expulsion
Difficulty: Perilous
Requisites
- ☐A small flat stone from the cellar floor
- ☐A tallow candle
- ☐A length of white linen
- ☐A bowl of clean water
- ☐A sprig of rue
The Rite
- I.1. Enter the cellar at a quarter before two in the morning, alone, and extinguish every light save one tallow candle.
- II.2. Lay the white linen upon the lowest stair and set the bowl of water upon it.
- III.3. Do not look at the creature, however near it comes, but fix the eyes upon the candle flame.
- IV.4. At the stroke of two, lay the sprig of rue on the stone and say the Collect for the departed, once, without haste.
- V.5. Lift the flag, place the stone in the hollow, and the creature will kneel; you will feel the floor take its weight.
- VI.6. Seal the hollow with lime and leave by the stair without turning, counting nothing.
Caution. Whoever looks upon its face before the stone is set will begin to walk as it walks. The Society's Mr. R. Vane did so in 1958, and was found sitting upright among the barrels at dawn, his hands hanging, entirely courteous and entirely absent.
VI.Hauntings of the Surrounding District
Select a bar to filter the register.
Church of Our Lady of Hal · Church · 0.1 miles
The Flemish Sacristan, spectre. A stooped figure in a foreign cassock trims candles that were never lit, and turns his face away from any who ask whose Mass he prepares.
St Michael's Church · Church · 0.3 miles
Hodge the Gravedigger, revenant. He is seen opening the same grave each dusk, and those who look into it report that it is already occupied by themselves.
All Saints Cathedral · Church · 0.3 miles
The Bride of the Nave, white lady. A veiled woman walks the aisle at dusk, and the veil, when she passes, is wet.
Koko · Old Theatre · 0.4 miles
The Conservatory Mutes, phantom procession. Silent figures in evening dress file through the stalls at midnight, applauding with hands that make no sound.
Christ Church · Church · 0.5 miles
The Vestry Knocker, poltergeist. Three slow knocks sound from within the locked vestry cupboard, and the cupboard is found each morning a little further open.
Theatro Technis · Old Theatre · 0.5 miles
The Prompter's Breath, unclassified entity. A whisper feeds lines to players a moment before they remember them, and the lines are not in the script.
St Pancras Hospital · Hospital · 0.6 miles
Nurse Quillfeather, revenant. A night nurse in a grey cape makes her rounds at the beds of those who will not wake, and straightens their pillows with great tenderness.
Spread Eagle · Old Inn · a few paces
The Drover with the Cold Lantern, spectre. A bearded drover stands beneath the sign holding a lantern that gives no heat, and his shadow points toward whoever will die next.
Edinboro Castle · Old Inn · a few paces
The Rampart Cur, phantom hound. A lean black dog paces the upper landing before closing time, and its claws are heard on the boards while no marks are left.
York & Albany · Old Inn · a few paces
The Borrowed Landlord, possession. A man behind the bar begins to speak in the voice of a dead licensee, and recalls debts that nobody living remembers.
The Black Cap · Old Inn · 0.2 miles
The Canal Taper, will-o'-the-wisp. A pale flame drifts above the water at the back of the premises and draws the drunken toward the lock.
The Camden Head · Old Inn · 0.2 miles
The Hatless Cabman, headless apparition. A cabman in a caped coat sits at the corner table with his head in his lap, and tips it to any who pass.
Etcetera Theatre · Old Inn · 0.2 miles
The Green-Room Magpie, spectral animal. A magpie perches among the dressing-room mirrors and repeats, in a dead actor's voice, the names of the next to leave.
The Constitution · Old Inn · 0.5 miles
The Snug Rattler, poltergeist. Glasses are lined along the bar in the night in neat rows of thirteen, each filled with something dark.
The Falcon · Old Inn · 0.5 miles
The Widow of the Roost, white lady. A pale woman in mourning stands at an upper window every anniversary, and every year she is a little nearer the glass.
